“BLENDING IN” in Burundi

For all of you who plan to travel to this beautiful country, I thought I would offer a few pointers in case you would like to blend into the local population…

1) Stop, gather around and watch any activity that is going on. If they are paving the road, line the streets and watch. If they are putting up or repairing an electric pole in your neighborhood, gather around the pole and watch…. for as long as it takes. If someone is painting a new sign on his business, support him by hovering below him, watching his every move. Try not to get too distracted by a muzungu (white skinned individual) that passes by you. If this occurs, you will be forced to make a choice. Stare at the street paving or stare at the muzungu. Tough call.

2) If you live anywhere outside of Bujumbura, and see a “muzungu” passing in a car or by foot, be sure to stop whatever you are doing, turn, and stare blankly until they have disappeared into the distance. Yes, this means stopping mid sentence in the conversation you are in. And make sure you have only a blank expression on your face. Try not to blink. (Jim and I decided the kind of looks we get from everyone – young and old alike – when we pass by in the rural countryside is comparable to a man strolling stark naked past your house playing one of those ping-pong paddles with the rubber ball attached. Yeah, that kind of a stare.) And get as close as you can get, continuing your blank stare. The object is to make them feel as uncomfortable as possible…

3) Hold hands with your friends in public, especially if you are a man. From primary school age all the way to the eldest of the elders, if you have a good friendship with another man or woman, hold hands while walking and don’t be afraid to put your arms around one another. (I find this delightful!) Also when shaking hands hold on for as long as it takes the two of you to finish a good long greeting. ATTENTION: Once you are married DO NOT touch one another in public – ever. No holding hands, and especially no patting the back or rubbing a shoulder. Come one – get a room!

4) If you are riding a bicycle up a large mountain, you can grab onto the back of large semi-trucks and let them pull you up the mountain for free. As many as 5 of you can fit along the back. (Participate at your own peril.)

5) If you plan to start a business, catchy names I would suggest include “Nice Stuff” and “Good Price.” A good slogan for a new school may include “We struggle for excellence.” (Of course, I’m not making fun. These names just make me giggle. This is coming from the girl who currently only speaks ONE language.)